My life goal is to live my life more boldly by taking the risk of uncertainty.
I always looked for stability and certainty in almost every moment in my daily life. I wanted to make every situation predictable and prepare for any potential upcoming events as thoroughly as possible to secure stability and certainty. Unfortunately, my brain created so many what-if questions about future events in an attempt to make the uncertain future certain.
To avoid the situation in which my brain made what-if questions, I minimized my involvement in personal and social activities. Rather than being bullied by the what-if questions, I chose to avoid the triggers in the first place. Consequently, it led me to lose motivation in every aspect of my life.
Whenever I saw a dead squirrel on a road, I wondered why it crossed the road despite the risk of death. Probably there was plenty of food on the other side of the road. Nevertheless, I didn’t understand its action to confront the uncertainty of crossing the traffic road. From my OCD perspectives, the squirrel’s decision wasn’t reasonable.
Now I think I understand the squirrel’s mindset and respect it. I want to live my life like the squirrel. Rather than doing nothing with the fear of uncertainty, I will confront it boldly and try my best to give birth to the best within me. Whatever its consequence is, my life where I face challenges will be worth it.